The thought of dying can be a worry for some, especially those who are terminally ill, or just in their "autumn" years, that's why we like to target most of our TV advertising to these vulnerable groups, but you don't need to be dying soon to benefit, that's why we started the Over 50 plan, which is not based in any way on the AXA Over fifty plan.
For over £50 a month you can guarantee yourself the afterlife you always dreamt of.
This plan is backed by the Tenpasenta Church, Europe's largest and wealthiest secular Church, we specialise in offering the highest quality religious style experiences that money can buy, without the religious nonsense to clutter things up. We have negotiated special deals between us and higher imaginary authorities, enabling us to offer afterlife guarantees that real Churches can only dream of.
By relieving your bank account of relatively small amounts of cash over £50 each month, you're guaranteed to be accepted into the plan. Imagine the big relief to you on your deathbed knowing that you're just one step away from the afterlife of eternal bliss.
Contact our Afterlife direct team today, once you've joined, a special free valuable welcome gift will be yours, just pop in to collect it.
SUBSCRIPTION
A free gift for you.
Fees update.
We have changed our life long subscription to reflect the hardship many are feeling during this financial period, therefore from midnight on 22nd April 2009, the vicar has declared that a one off payment of only £4500 for ANY age is all that is required for an Afterlife life subscription, all low income earners over 106 years old will get 10% discount!
There has never been a better time to join and guarantee yourself the afterlife you do or don't deserve.
Every life subscription not only includes a fantastic free gift, but also free parking at the Tenpasenta Church estate, at £1 per hour the longer you visit the more you save! In addition when you visit we will let you do some unpaid work, if you are ill this could hasten your transit to the Afterlife, a truly great win win offer.
10% Tithe standard.
As we all know, the most secure way of getting to Heaven and the afterlife is through a regular tithe payments, in fact the system that began the 10%'er Church all those years ago in America.
Unlike other Churches who happily accept 10% of peoples cash for basically no return, we offer a the afterlife many were indoctrinated into believing was real, guaranteed, and who are we to shatter childish dreams of heaven?
As long as your donation is larger or equal to our minimum payment plan of over £50, your safe transit to life after death is fully guaranteed.
Remember the Tenpasenta Church is the only Church to guarantee eternal life, yet still give you Sundays all to yourself.
CONCERN
Earn up to 90%
No claims bonus!*
*Just don't ever die to qualify.
AFFORDABLE
ADDITIONAL
Premiums range from over £50 to £unlimited per month, but if you would like to pay a lot more than unlimited you can.
The first month’s premium is not free, benefit from knowing your own money is going straight into your chosen plan and our bank.
The premium you choose will never go down, and your cover will never go down either, no matter what happens to your health relax in knowing your afterlife is safe.
You will get a special gift to welcome you into the Plan. For each friend you invite to join you will receive their gift instead of them, which is crafty but nice.
You need to keep paying into the plan every month throughout your life, if you were stop paying the Grim Reaper may delay your transit to your guaranteed afterlife.
If you were to become seriously ill just before your death, be sure you informed a close friend about your payment due dates.
You can access to your local library or even a real Church, where you can find out about the afterlife you've just subscribed to.
A confidential information line is also available to you free from NHS Online, there you can track your state of health, and estimate how long you have left before your afterlife.
GIFT
Why not give the ultimate gift to the one you love, that gift being a guaranteed afterlife, care of the Tenpasenta Church.
Some may call it the gift money can't buy, but they are wrong, you can buy it from us at very good price, they don't even have to be nice people.
For a one off payment of only £4500 they are in. Once bought you will be issued with a blank afterlife gift voucher email, you can then pass it on as a gift at that chosen time, imagine the joy and relief this voucher will bring, especially to an elderly or sick friend or relative.
This is the ultimate gift, but once sold they cannot be returned for a refund, we're not Marks & Spencer's you know.
GUARANTEED
The Tenpasenta Church has been selling no frills afterlife plans for 170 years, in that time nearly eight million people have signed up with us, and nobody that was confirmed dead has ever made a complaint, a ringing endorsement in itself for the quality of our afterlife service.
We are so confident that you will be fully satisfied with your efficient transit to the afterlife, that we have put in place a 30 day100% refund guarantee.
Full terms and conditions of our guarantee are available to see in our Red Book on request.
To claim a refund if not fully satisfied, simply fill in the form placed in your coffin within 30 days of interment, you really can't go wrong with this rock solid guarantee, unless cremated.
