The
Tenpasenta Church
Southampton
 
 
 

Book of Remembrance

 
Back
ABOUT US HISTORY DEATH MATERNITY RETIREMENT GERIATRIC CARE
WEDDINGS OVER50PLAN FUNDRAISING HUMANITARIAN ROYAL VISIT KIDS CLUB
SELF STORAGE GOLD4CHURCH REMEMBRANCE GIFT SHOP JOBS ESTATE
next
     

BOOK

Book of rememembrance    
   

DONATE

Book of rememembrance

PAPER BOOK

Because our visitor centre is busy at all times, Mark the vicar has installed a live webcam so that you can work out a quieter time to visit your loved ones name.
The live feed is displayed on the right, we're sure you will agree that the Tenpasenta Church is a very popular and busy location all the day.
Our original beautiful hand written books of remembrance are available to view at our visitor centre. We have both hardback and paperback editions depending on your budget, and once we can find the key to the new ultra high security display case we will be turning the pages daily.
Book of rememembrance
 
Hand scribed in the popular Comic Sans script, using nothing more than a Biro, these books are a beautiful and lasting memorial to the memory of a loved one, and it only costs from £60 per entry for 2 lines, up to a maximum of 5 lines, it's not a bloody biography. Hand scribed in the popular Comic Sans
 
     
     
E-FLOWERS
Send E-Flowers on your loved ones day of remembrance.
Thanks to the wonders of modern digital imaging we are able to emulate with use stock images any flower in the world, they will be displayed on your loved ones E-Membrance page, prices start a bit less than real flowers delivered from your local florist, best of all we don't have the bother of clearing them up every few days.
You can add your name and personal message to an E-Card, others can also add their own E-Card to the same page for only £12.50.
These E-Cards can be set up to repeat annually for an advanced cash payment or direct debit.
If in the future you find that your loved one was not quite as nice as you believed, just log on and say what you really think, an option you don't get with old style hand written books.
It's a rabbit
top of the range flowers Tenpasenta logo Basic Funeral flowers
For the loved   For the not so loved
   
Tenpasenta Church home  
     
     

INTERNET REMEMBRANCE

This could be yours Electronic book of remembrance sample feed Tenpasenta logo
Coming to a screen near you soon is our E-book of remembrance. It will be available via the internet, it's designed to save the you the fuss of dragging yourself away from the TV just to come here and check out some tatty badly written old book (still available).
All this comes for an annual subscription of just £9.99. Your loved ones name, photo, flower image and even your choice music played at the funeral service will be available to view worldwide at any time.
Enter our E-Membrance competition guess your own death, pick correctly and you can win a year's subscription to your very own E-Membrance page! (terminally ill, suicidal and people over 75 cannot enter).
The Tenpasenta Church brings yet another almost unique service.
Whats what Lord Lucan Whats what
 
     
You're buying an afterlife
     
COFFINCAM
Thanks to cutting edge technology the Tenpasenta Church is able to provide live camera feeds from within your loved ones coffin.
coffincam manufacture caffin cam camera
Film Film
 
Buffering, still
Buffering......
 
Buffering, still
Buffering......
 
Buffering, still
Buffering......
 
Buffering, still
Buffering......
 
Buffering, still
Buffering......
Film Film
Above you can see some recent internments, their families chose CoffinCam, will you?
 
 
56kps
As part of our modern approach to death and bereavement, we have installed CoffinCam.
Remember your dead loved one as never before, and from only £350, a bargain.
We install a webcam inside the coffin so when you visit our bereavement centre you can ask to see the live coffin feed and check your loved ones state of decay.
In 2013 CoffinCam will be available as part of the E-book of remembrance package.
coffincam plus
   
Shit Happens
     
     
GARDEN OF REST
We have recently opened a beautiful garden of rest.
Gates open from 8am to 8pm.
PLEASE BE QUIET AT ALL TIMES.
Spreading human ashes
EULOGY EXAMPLES
Mark the vicar was at my mothers bedside with me when she died,
I said to him that I would have given all the money in the world just to have one more hour with her, he replied I wish you'd told me that an hour ago.
Rocky Climb, loving son.
She was a selfless woman who went through her life helping others, especially me when I couldn't be arsed to get out of bed and we thank her for sharing her life with us. If anyone here would like a job on minimum wage see me after the service.
Anthea Turner on her cleaner.
Bill was not a rich man, he was not a proud man, he was not a successful man, nor was he especially attractive, articulate, or even remotely respected, neither was he liked or hygienic. So that'll explain that's why I'm the only one here.
Reverend Mark the Vicar on Bill Toupee.
 
     
Donate
     
REMEMBER....THE COST*
REMEMBER THEM
Remember them with a memorial bench, we also have some great value teak benches to which you can add a classy brass effect plaque.
Prices start from only £410 + £50 for the plaque.
Many more great items available for us to cash in on your dead loved one, speak to our bereavement advisor about the many ways we can empty your bank account in the name of memorial..
Des Collyer Metal plaque
*Prices correct 01/01/2013
As seen on BBC South Today  
BBC One review my websites
Back
ABOUT US HISTORY DEATH MATERNITY RETIREMENT GERIATRIC CARE
WEDDINGS OVER50PLAN FUNDRAISING HUMANITARIAN ROYAL VISIT KIDS CLUB
SELF STORAGE GOLD4CHURCH REMEMBRANCE GIFT SHOP JOBS ESTATE
Next
     
shite site
Email Us
Budget Funerals Premium Funerals Who made this crap?
Twitters
Publisher
  Copyright M. Collyer
Disclaimer: All products and services promoted on this site are fictional, however feel free to donate money as I’m broke.