Book of remembrance

REMEMBER

BOOK

WEBCAM

Our original hand written books of remembrance are available to view at our new visitor centre, we have both Premium hardback, and Budget paperback editions.
Once we can find the key to the new high security display case we will turn the pages daily, but as we've noticed not every relative comes to look, there's no rush to find it.
Hand scribed in the popular Comic Sans script, using nothing more than a Biro and an HP printer, these books are a beautiful lasting memorial to the memory of a loved one, and only costs £220 per entry.

Live view of our busy visitor centre.

Because our visitor centre is so popular, Mark the vicar has installed a webcam for people to see the book of remembrance room and work out when is a quiet time to come and visit. We're sure you will agree the live feed shows just how busy we are at all times, it's for this very reason we have been investing heavily in the latest technology to bring the future of books of remembrance today, online ones, and not a day too soon.

E-BOOK

FLOWERS

Coming to a computer screen near you soon will be our new E-book of remembrance, the new book of remembrance will be available on the internet, this will save the fuss of buying flowers and dragging yourself away from the TV just to come here and check out some tatty badly written old book (still available).
All this comes for an annual subscription from only £9.99, your loved ones name, photo, animated icon and music or sound effect will be available to view worldwide on their date of death (GMT). Book online now through our 24hr support chat system.
Enter our E-Membrance competition and try to guess your own death, pick correctly and you win the chance of getting onto the E-Membrance site for free! (The terminally ill, suicidal and people over 65 cannot enter).
The Tenpasenta Church again brings another almost unique service.

Send E-Flowers on your day of remembrance, thanks to the wonders of modern digital imaging, we are able to emulate any flower, they will be displayed as a large icon on your loved ones page, prices start a bit less than real flowers delivered from your local florist, plus we don't have to bother clearing them up.
You can add your name and personal message on an E-Card, others can add their own E-Card to the page for only £2.50. These E-Cards can be set up to repeat annually for an advanced cash payment or direct debit. If in the future you find that your loved one was not quite as nice as you believed, just log on with your personal PIN number and run them down to your hearts content.


Click on the link above for sneak peak at a sample of our new E-book of remembrance. After seeing the quality features on offer you will be gagging to book your own E-remembrance entry as soon as it becomes available.

COFFINCAM

As part of our modern approach to death and bereavement, we have launched CoffinCam. Remember your buried loved one as never before, for only £350 we will install a camera inside the coffin, each time you visit our visitor centre you can ask for access to the live coffin feed and check on your loved ones state of decay, a truly unique experience.
During 2010 CoffinCam will be available online and come as part of the E-book of remembrance subscription.

GARDEN

	We have recently opened our beautiful new garden of remembrance. Gates open from 8am to 8pm. PLEASE BE QUIET AT ALL TIMES.
	EULOGIES
	"If I could have one single wish and never have another it would simply be to have one hour and spend it with my Mother, Hilda" Rocky Climb on finding he was not in her will.
	"He was like an Irish storyteller he wouldn't tell jokes, just stories, and you would find yourself rolling around crying with laughter." Lou Stools on comedian Dave Allen. (Lou never could grasp the concept of irony)
	"He was a selfless man who went through his life helping others, and we thank him for sharing his life with us." Anthea Turner on her first live-in cleaner, stupid woman.
	“Bill was not a rich man. He was not a proud man. He was not a successful man, nor was he especially attractive, articulate, or even remotely respected. Neither was he particularly well-liked or hygienic. So I guess that's why I'm the only one here" Mark the Vicar on Bill Toupee.
	“I believe that if Fred were standing here today, his warm smile would be evident, and he would want to reassure all of us that the world will go on, and then he would ask us why the hell was he talking at his own funeral..." Chris P Rolls on his brother, getting a little confused by his own eulogy.