Our beautiful gifts are currently exclusive to the Tenpasenta Church gift shop and our eBay Outlet store.

Our newly refurbished shop is conveniently located next to our cremation/funeral chapel exit. This plush outlet reflects the quality materials and workmanship that goes into each Tenpasenta product, don't be fooled into thinking that "made in China" means we just buy cheap and sell high, although those who do come to this conclusion could be correct.

Genuine Parker
style pen.

Hand counted
anti-smoking ashtray.

Crematorium jigsaw. 8+ years, maybe quicker.

Vicar Badge
Humorous.

Bone china style mug
with Tenpasenta logo.

Key ring.
Humorous.

Tenpasenta.org
Car window sticker.

Humorous Church
mugs.

One size fits all T-shirts.
Medium only.

Unfair trade
cotton hats.

Advertise us on your car.

Selection of free leaflets.

Give your dog a treat with a vintage bone from our very wide selection, they are however marrow free but still have some kind of taste dogs love.
If you don't have a dog but do have a fancy garden, we keep the smaller toe bones that are ideal to cook, grind up and sprinkle on your flower beds or lawn as a 100% organic fertiliser.
We are proud suppliers of authentic human skulls, give that Shakespearean play a touch of class, give your occult meeting the realism it deserves or maybe just scare the Grandchildren shitless with a graphic tale of a long lost relative.
Depending on the weather conditions these quality bones are sun dried and sterile, although at other times we cannot be held responsible for any life threatening diseases you or your dog may catch, we believe flower beds to be safe throughout the year.

Dog bones from £1 each.
Fertiliser bones from £6 per 5 kilo sack.
Human skulls from only £40 each.

All bones have been unclaimed by relatives, so no worries there.

We have some super paving slabs available, in fact you have over 12,000 to choose from, these luxury slabs will make a perfect addition to any garden, they can be used face down for that perfect patio, or maybe face up for an interesting pathway to your shed.
Thank's to the age of the old graveyard, nearly all paving slabs are the same colour, we can only imagine the troubles council cemeteries will have in the years ahead while trying to shift their paving slabs, the latest fashion appears to be for black headstones, and who will want a black patio? Our guess is that they are selling extra thick headstones that can have the words sliced off and used again, if not we may do that for them in the future, watch this space.
We sell many of our slabs to Goths who like to transform their gardens into pretend cemeteries (that must please the parents), there must be a million uses for these individually crafted pieces of stone, although we can only think of three.

Paving slabs from only £8 each.

Add a touch of class to the ropiest of gardens.

Many landscape gardeners enquire about our range of modern garden ornaments, we're glad to say that the vicar has decided to start selling these, mainly due to the fact that he can't find any good use for them.
Garden gnome range from 2' to 9'6", all appear to be granite or white marble, we have several arms and two heads without bodies for those interested.
We have 5 superb stone cloches, standing at just over 2' 6" high, they would be ideal for growing mushrooms.
Newly available from 2010 will be 3 beautifully built stone sheds, these really are great works of masonry art, there are several names and dates that have been chiseled into the marble ruining the effect, but these could easily be plastered over.

Garden ornaments (mainly Angels) from £45.
Stone cloches from £320.
Sheds from £2000